Delhi

Delhi,

I need to say goodbye.

I feel as though I'm constantly saying 'bye' to you. 

But. 

Maybe that's just it. I can't say 'bye' because it will never be 'bye.'

You are a part of me. 

Granted, I am half Indian and thus, India as a whole will always be a part of me.

I know what people say. You're dangerous, you're dirty, you're this and you're that. Sure. Parts of you are all those things, but show me a country that doesn't have those things. 

Before you, I was incredibly naïve. I had this picture of my life and how it was going to be. Obviously, it didn't exactly work out that way. But that's not to say that my future hasn't been shaped for the better because of you. 

I don't necessarily know what I want. But I'm that one step closer to finding out what that is. And I have you to thank for that.

Over the course of the last six months I have travelled, worked, met incredible people and umpteen puppies, and turned 25. 

I was absolutely terrified being here. Of course, I had visited many times before and even spent six months as an exchange student two years ago. So you weren't exactly a foreigner to me. But this time was different.  

I think in the beginning I tried planning as many trips as I could the following months so that I didn't need to think of being 'alone.' I don't think I wanted to admit that I was actually having a tough time. I don't think I realized it myself. 

I think I was just trying to figure out my life at lightning speed and by planning all these events and trips in between helped me move along. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Not that I regret all the adventures. Not at all. But, maybe I would have let myself settle and my 'anxiety' wouldn't result in sleepless nights. 

In September I started a new job. My first official job with a think-tank whose objective it is to clean up the Ganga river basin. I was Executive Outreach Officer. Essentially I spoke to embassies and international organizations to create a network and database of clean tech which we, together with the Indian government, could use to further our objective. I loved the work I did; to be in contact with all these different people, to learn about new technology and to see how these two could intertwine to make a difference, I felt like I was making a difference. That thought was only furthered after the summit we organized for which I was personally responsible for inviting more than 15 countries and their dignitaries. I was good. Delhi gave me the confidence and room to become that person. 

Last day of 3-day summit with 500 people

I owe a lot of my professional growth to the Director General of the National Mission for Clean Ganga. It's because of him and the people at the NMCG that I reached as far as I did. I was introduced to several different international organizations and opportunities I otherwise would not have had the chance to meet. I understand that the NMCG receives a lot of negative feedback, but honestly, they don't deserve it. I know I'm a bit biased in saying that, but they do work hard.

Despite this, I decided it was time to leave.

Being in Delhi, I had good times and bad. Diwali was bittersweet. We celebrated light(ness) but couldn't help but think of those who should have been there with us.

In December I visited Varanasi, one of the places I was trying to save. It was a bit surreal. This river is 2525km long.

Assi Ghat - Varanasi

Varanasi

G.O.A.T.

In January I became 25. As much as I dislike the number, I had a fantastic birthday;

I was in Pune. I sat by a pool. I ate cake. I was with happy people. 

I was happy.

Lucky Chops - go listen.

Pune

Of course, going to a concert the day after and the zoo the day after that made it all the more fantastic. 

And then February I spent a weekend in Bhubaneswar and a week in Lucknow with my grandfather. I wish that week could have slowed down. It all went too fast.

Now I'm back in Delhi. Writing this piece exactly 6 months after my last post. 

And all I can say is, thank you Delhi.

I don't know when I'll be back, so I won't say 'bye.' Knowing myself, I won't be gone for long. I can't seem to stay away for longer than three months at a time. I think it'll be longer than three months and my visit will be under different circumstances, I'm sure. But I'm coming back. Each time I try to say 'bye' I'm right back at that 1am arrival time in T3. 

Delhi, I think you're fantastic. 

Don't you dare let anyone ever tell you otherwise. 

I also have a special mention to these people:

Sonali, David, Jessica, Théo, Dona and Edouard. I don't know what I would have done without all of you. And thank you for my 'farewell' dinner, it was... interesting. Please keep updating me.

Cheers.